• 30th May
    2012
  • 30

I heard a new song yesterday.. a few lines go somewhat like..

Then all at once it gets hard to take.
It gets hard to fake, what I won’t be.
Cause one of these days I’ll be born and raised
And it’s such a waste to grow up lonely

I still have dreams, they’re not the same..
They don’t fly as high as they used to
I saw my friend, he’s in my head
And he said, “You don’t remember me, do you?”

I still got time..
I still got faith
I call on both of my brothers..
I got a mom..
I got a dad..
But they do not have each other


It’s sad to hear a song tell your very story..and sing the words you’re too afraid to say out loud..

  • 11th May
    2012
  • 11
  • 8th March
    2012
  • 08

I’m again staring at a blank page.. searching for the right words. Trying to put all my emotions into a sentence.. a phrase that could express how much hurt I feel.. how much happiness too. I’ve got so many things to say.. (and I think, my opinion is just way out of line).

So here it goes:

Good luck. Be happy. Have no fear. Have no regrets. Say sorry. Be a man. Thank God. And Just be happy.. always.

Actually, that’s all I’m praying for.. your happiness.

  • 3rd March
    2012
  • 03

I’ve learned to let go of the things I cannot have.. of situations I cannot change.. and times that I cannot bring back.

In life, there are moments that you have to stop.. think.. and tell yourself, “give up and learn.. so that next time, you’d know better.”

  • 9th February
    2012
  • 09
  • 9th February
    2012
  • 09
  • 25th January
    2012
  • 25
  • 23rd December
    2011
  • 23

been out of sorts lately.. and I know, a lot of my friends were surprised by my midnight calls and non stop drop-off messages.. there’s just too much to say, and I’ve been really quiet for so long.. I have pent up worries that I thought I could handle alone, but no.. I just couldn’t anymore.

Christmas season makes me sad. every. time.

  • 14th December
    2011
  • 14
  • 3rd December
    2011
  • 03

Too many things are running through my mind.. Losing family is never easy.. Dying makes everyone sad.. But what if that someone isn’t dying, and you’re still losing him anyway.. How would that make you feel? Let me tell you something, letting go of a dying person is easier than letting go of someone who didn’t choose you.. It will always hurt. And I am hurting..

Giving someone a chance, even if you know it wouldn’t work out, is a desperate move. A final attempt to happiness that you will never have. I do not want that.. I believe that I deserve more than that.. So I’m passing up my chance.. Thanks, but no thanks dude.

Watching friends go is sad.. Minan is leaving soon.. Ianne and Dada left already.. Seeing them walk away from where I am standing, makes me think of walking away with them.. But when will I have the courage to make the first step? How can I leave this place? I’m trying to drown myself, be numb and lose consciousness.. I need a break.. I need sleep.. I need peace.